5 Steps to Stopping Jealousy

 Jealousy is a jail for us. Why are we feeling this 
way? Why does this feeling seem to overwhelm 
and control us?  1. Seeing - In order to stop 
jealousy, we must first see the cause as to 
'why' we are becoming jealous. To understand 
the 'why' we must ask ourselves the question... 

Do I enjoy being controlled by jealousy?

If the answer to this is yes, then you have not 
truly seen the destructive nature of jealousy and 
it may therefore be necessary for you to continue 
your experiences until you realize the 
consequences of allowing jealousy to exist within 

If you are still reading, we can assume you are 
ready to stop jealousy within yourself, and we can move to the next part. 

2. Find the Cause - The cause, or starting point of jealousy is quite simply is a 
manifested emotion caused by desire for something outside of yourself. Looking 
more deeply into the experience, one will find that it is actually based in some 
form of fear - be it fear of being seen as less than others, or perhaps fear of being 
left alone, or even fear of survival. In any case, the starting point of jealousy is 
actually fear of some sort. You can see within yourself what is the root cause of 
your jealousy by asking yourself the question - what am I fearing to lose when I 
experience jealousy? There may be only one or perhaps a number of fears within 
yourself. Write them out for yourself. 

3. Address the fear - Lets say for example, you are fearing to lose your partner/
relationship. So lets look at that fear to test and see if its a valid belief. First we 
look at it from the perpective that this fear of losing ones partner is not real. Why 
would it not be real? Because all fear of loss exists as limitation placed on oneself 
within the belief 
that 'we are limited'. Limitation in not really who we are, it is simply a belief - 
because in actuality, life is not limited - it only appears so because of our accepted 

From the other perspective, if we believe the fear is real, then we must believe 
that we are limited to (and therefore subject to) fear, and thus we cannot change, 
and so we are stuck in jealousy having no choice in the matter. In that case, jealousy 
is not able to be stopped. This is a false belief. Jealousy is able to be stopped, and we 
are not limited. 
One is only limited if one believes oneself to be so. There is no proof of limitation 
anywhere to be found, other than within the systems of beliefs we have created for 

To give a hypothetical explanation - lets take another example - you let go of that 
partner you are jealous of and the next day you find someone that opens a whole 
new world of opportunity and happiness for you. You can see how limiting yourself 
by allowing jealousy limits your full potential in that, if you had allowed your jealousy 
to control the experience and gone into the consequence of that limitation, you 
would not have allowed yourself the opportunity to experience meeting the new 
person. Its interesting that in our minds we are always gambling and usually taking the 
safest bet. This is an indicator we are being controlled by fear. 

4. Self-Forgiveness - So we realize fear and limitation are simply false perceptions we 
hold on to within our minds. And if that's all they are, then we can simply let go of 
these false beliefs. We do that through self-forgiveness within the realization that we 
no  longer believe in limitation or allow ourselves to be controlled by fear. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that I am 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself in the belief that I am 
not able to let go of and stop fear within myself. 

Now that we have addressed the root cause of the jealousy and see how it is based in 
fear and limits us, we can easily stop being jealous because we understand how it works. 
In doing so, we free ourselves from the limitation and fear belief systems.

5. Change Yourself - So when the feeling or emotion of jealousy comes up within us, we 
simply stop and breathe, realizing that we no longer accept and allow these false beliefs 
to control us. I am not limited or controlled by fear, therefore I will not allow such feelings 
and emotions to control me. You see, its quite simple, you have stopped jealousy within 
yourself and you are now free from that limited belief system. 

Realize, in order to fully stop jealousy, fears, and limitation within oneself it may take 
some time and likely more in depth self-forgiveness on your part. Don't expect it to be 
over instantaneously. I have outlined the principles to give you a really good head-start 
in understanding how it works. The effectiveness of removing jealousy within yourself 
will depend on how extensive it is within yourself, as well as how willing and committed 
you are to changing yourself. These same principles can be applied for many other feelings 
and emotional reactions as well. I am happy to assist with this, but, as most people, you will 
likely require more specific support. This is offered through the  Desteni-I-Process course 
for which I am currently a recruiter, and I highly recommend it, if one is serious about 
supporting oneself to improve ones life as a whole.